


all I need

by masi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 16:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2588330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masi/pseuds/masi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his childhood, Iwaizumi accidentally forms a friendship with a very annoying person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all I need

There was a time when Iwaizumi liked bugs more than anything in the world, more than volleyball, more than the kids in his neighborhood, and definitely more than Oikawa Tooru. Mom was always trying to arrange play dates for him, but all Iwaizumi really wanted was to find new insects to add to his collection. Bugs, now those’re beautiful. They come in so many different shapes and colors and leg-sizes and feel so delicate on the palm. The kids around him either wanted to squash the bugs, or were afraid of them, but his seven-year-old self wanted to collect them all. 

Iwaizumi would go out with his net and a basket filled with empty jelly jars, and he would spend the whole day in the fields and farms within a five-kilometer distance of his house, gathering as many bugs as he could. Oikawa would tag along, babbling about crop circles and aliens and his “mean” big sister, who never wanted to play with him. Oikawa was annoying, always getting mad when they had a race and Iwaizumi won, and always shrieking really loudly whenever Iwaizumi picked up the big insects and put them carefully into the jars, and then yelling again when Iwaizumi released them at the end of the day.

“You’re so gross, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa would say, and then cry whenever Iwaizumi stuck bugs down the collar of his T-shirt.

“Your face is gross, like a donkey’s butt,” Iwaizumi said once, after Oikawa had flailed too much because of the stag beetle Iwaizumi had stuck under his alien-print hoodie and almost crushed the poor beetle into a pulp.

Oikawa was such a horrible boy, Iwaizumi used to think back then. The only reason they did anything together was because Mom was always encouraging them to spend time with each other. Oikawa’s only redeeming quality was that he had a big bedroom, in which he let Iwaizumi store his jars of caterpillars. Oikawa liked caterpillars because he always expecting them to turn into pretty butterflies. Iwaizumi liked the nicknames Oikawa gave them, and the fact that Oikawa genuinely cared for them and never said “what’s the point of keeping something you’ll have to eventually let go, Hajime-chan” like Mom did.

And, after Oikawa started playing volleyball, he became more interesting. Iwaizumi realized that he liked volleyball too. They started playing at school and practiced together more than they did with the other kids. Oikawa was a good at tossing the ball, had a way of getting the ball right where Iwaizumi needed it for the perfect spike. Iwaizumi wasn’t embarrassed about thinking of Oikawa as his friend anymore.

He didn’t notice that Oikawa was what people considered “beautiful” until years later, maybe the last year of junior high. It was after Oikawa had received the Best Setter award. The girls in their year had been praising him all morning, and at lunchtime he was beaming and saying something like, “We didn’t do too bad, right, Iwa-chan?” and the sunlight was in his eyes, making him squint a little as he smiled at Iwaizumi. Oikawa’s eyelashes looked so delicate and beautiful, and Iwaizumi had thought of the butterflies that settled on the flowers in his mother’s garden in the summer, the way their large wings fluttered, and he thought Oikawa was more beautiful than any insect he had ever seen. 

Iwaizumi had moved his chair a foot away from Oikawa’s after this revelation. He was blushing all the way down to his toes. Or that’s what it felt like. 

He doesn’t think he will ever forget the way Oikawa looked at him after that happened, that uncomfortably knowing smile.

***

Iwaizumi has plans for himself – important, practical plans like getting into a good university and getting a good job – so he doesn’t get involved with Oikawa in any gross, complicated, romantic way during their first two years of high school. Oikawa can flirt with and fuck all the girls and boys he wants. Whatever. Iwaizumi doesn’t give a fuck. He has his own things to do, such as:  
1\. Take care of the team  
2\. Keep Kyoutani in line  
3\. Keep his own body toned and fit  
4\. Get good grades  
5\. Yell at Oikawa whenever that asshole is doing his three favorite things:  
a. Staying up too late at night, analyzing Kageyama and Ushiwaka’s volleyball matches  
b. Practicing too long and then injuring himself  
c. Trying too hard to impress someone who he’s going to dislike after five days or less

“You don’t have to look out for me, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa will tell him in a sing-song voice at least once a week. “What are you, my mother?”

“As long as I’m vice-captain,” Iwaizumi will reply occasionally in their third year, when he is feeling calm enough to have a proper conversation, “I’ll do my duty. And part of that duty is taking care of your sorry ass.”

“When are you going to learn a new insult?” is Oikawa’s usual reply. And once, “Well, it’s good to know you’ve progressed from donkey’s butt to ass! But can you really call that progress? So vulgar, Iwa-chan!”

Things could be better – for example, Iwaizumi could have a nicer friend – but Iwaizumi is an optimist at the end of the day, a guy who sees the glass as half-full, so he puts up with it all, only yells himself hoarse once each week. Everything goes relatively well in the first half of their third year. He’s okay during that period when Oikawa actually has a girlfriend for more than five days, that pretty girl from Class 5 who sits at the desk in front of Iwaizumi and is almost as tall as him and is always telling her friends how cute and funny Oikawa is, talks about this in her cute voice every single weekday morning for fourteen days. Everything goes relatively well until they play their final match of volleyball.

Losing is a big deal, but also not, because there’s always university volleyball. Even the possibility of no volleyball is okay. People grow up and stop playing sports. This is what Iwaizumi tells himself as he tries not to look Oikawa in the eye. He can’t shoulder the disappointment of two people at this moment, not when they have to accept their defeat with grace and good sportsmanship. 

Oikawa says as their team is leaving the gymnasium, his voice strained and pseudo-cheerful, “Ah, well, I guess I’ll be treating you guys to ramen, since I messed up my serve a few times. Hey, how about we use this chance for one last bonding session? Before we reach the shop, why don’t you tell me the things you really hated about my captainship? No need to be embarrassed or shy, it’s just for fun, and maybe I’ll learn something too! Okay? Go!”

Kyoutani opens his mouth. Iwaizumi stomps lightly on his foot. “No,” Iwaizumi says. “We’re not going to be talking about useless things at all.”

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa protests. “Why are you such a party-pooper? This is a way for us to reminisce about the time we’ve had together. Kunimi-chan, why don’t you go first?”

Iwaizumi glares at Oikawa, who avoids his gaze. The rest of the team is quiet, either looking at the sidewalk or at Iwaizumi. 

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi says, “that’s enough. Everyone’s tired.”

Oikawa shrugs. He adjusts his bag, shoves his hands into his jacket pockets, looks at the street. Iwaizumi glances at Hanamaki and Matsukawa. They look as defeated as he feels. He really hates this vice-captain job sometimes. 

But this is his last night too, so he opens his mouth to tell the first and second years that they did a good job and that they should continue working hard in the upcoming years. Before he can get his first word out of his mouth, however, Kindaichi yells, “I have something to tell you, Oikawa-san!” He pauses, and then says, louder, “Thank you! For everything!” His voice wavers on the last word.

Oikawa has stopped walking and is now staring at Kindaichi. The other first and second years chime in, thanking Oikawa for being a good captain and always tailoring his tosses to fit their strengths, and for believing in them. Oikawa is red by the end of it, eyes filling with tears.

***

Iwaizumi saves his thank you for the walk home, when it’s just the two of them. “Hey,” he says, adjusting the strap of his bag. “Thanks.”

“For what, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa replies, smiling.

Iwaizumi sighs. He doesn’t know why he bothers. “For being an annoying pain in my ass, of course,” he says.

“Really? When have I ever-”

Iwaizumi aims a kick at Oikawa’s ankle, and Oikawa dances away, laughing. The laugh sounds a little too loud in the stillness of the night. But genuine. Iwaizumi looks up at the sky, at the few stars that are only visible in the countryside. He won’t get many more nights like this. He can already feel a distance growing between him and Oikawa. Their friendship has revolved around volleyball for so many years, it feels like they have nothing else to share now that that chapter in their lives has ended.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, putting an arm around Iwaizumi’s shoulders. His mouth is very close to Iwaizumi’s left ear. “Iwa-chan, are you looking for UFOs?”

Iwaizumi shakes Oikawa’s arm off. “No, I’m not a dumbass like you.”

“How mean!” 

They walk in silence for a few minutes. Or near silence. Oikawa is humming to himself, but Iwaizumi is so used to that he rarely notices it.

When they are a block away from their houses, Oikawa says, “You know, I haven’t studied at all for the entrance exams. May I borrow your notes, please?”

“Take your own shitty notes, Asskawa,” Iwaizumi says, already thinking about which notebook he should give Oikawa first.

***

The room they sit in at their cram school is way too small for twenty-five stressed-out students and their piles of books. It’s stuffy and hot despite the freezing weather outside. The desks are lined up too close to each other, and Oikawa is always sticking his feet into Iwaizumi’s personal space, “accidentally” kicking his shoes or shin, “accidentally” knocking his knee against Iwaizumi’s.

“You want me to break your leg?” Iwaizumi hisses at Oikawa after the third time this happens in the space of two days. He is trying to rememorize the names of the Heian emperors, and Oikawa has managed to upset his pile of history books. They are currently in his lap.

“Charming, isn’t he?” Oikawa says to the girl on his right, a senior from Karasuno and much better at math than Iwaizumi and Oikawa combined.

She beams at them, asks, “Have you two been friends for long?”

“A long, long time,” Oikawa replies. “He’s the soy sauce to my ramen.”

She blinks, smiling. “What?”

“The milk to my tea,” Oikawa continues. “And I love to have milk with tea. Unless it’s green tea, which I don’t drink too often.”

The poor girl turns to Iwaizumi with a bemused frown. “Just ignore him,” Iwaizumi says. “He’s suffering from volleyball-withdrawal symptoms.” 

“The Mommy to my Daddy,” Oikawa says. “Right, Mommy?”

She shifts her desk away from Oikawa. Iwaizumi hits Oikawa over the head with his notebook. The teacher yells, “Iwaizumi-kun! Hands to yourself!”

“I hope you fail your exams, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi mutters, after he has apologized.

Oikawa touches Iwaizumi’s knee and then squeezes it gently. “As long as you pass,” he replies, “I’ll be happy. I’m being one hundred percent honest. And I know you’ll pass, Iwa-chan.”

The teacher asks, “Are you getting a fever, Iwaizumi-kun? You’re turning red.”

***

Iwaizumi passes his exams for the Tokyo university that wasn’t his top choice but isn’t too bad either, and Oikawa gets a volleyball scholarship there, so it seems they’re going to be stuck together for a while longer. Iwaizumi tries not to be too happy about this. Another four years of Asskawa isn’t a good thing, especially now that they’re going to the city and will meet hordes of new people who will fascinate Oikawa and be fascinated by him. It’s going to be harder to keep those stupid love-love feelings he still feels for Oikawa in check.

But he’ll just have to suck it up and do it because he would rather put a scorpion down his own throat than tell Oikawa he loves him and then get rejected. Or worse, have a five-day relationship with him and then be left with nothing but anger.

He is packing his stuff up the Saturday before the big move when he hears his mother shouting for him to come downstairs.

When he reaches the front hall, he finds Oikawa standing by the shoe rack, beaming. “Iwa-chan!” he says. “Your mom says we have to play together.”

Mom is smiling too. “Yes, yes,” she says, making shooing motions with her hands. “Go play. It’s important to stay young in one’s heart. I’m so glad Hajime-chan has a friend like you to keep him young, Tooru. You’ll look after him in Tokyo too, won’t you?”

“Is this a nightmare?” Iwaizumi asks.

“He’s so mean to me, Oba-san,” Oikawa pouts. “But of course I will.” He puts a hand over his heart. “I promise.”

“Hajime-chan, how can you be so mean to Tooru?” Mom asks. “No one should be mean to such a darling child.” She stands on her tiptoes to touch Oikawa’s hair fondly.

Iwaizumi sighs, grabs his jacket, stuffs his feet into the sneakers closest to the door, and starts towards Oikawa’s house. 

“This better be good,” he tells Oikawa, after they walk into the house. 

Thankfully the place is empty. He likes the Oikawa family well enough, especially Takeru, who is always ready to join Iwaizumi in insulting Oikawa, but he doesn’t want to be asked to stay for dinner. He has to finish packing. And he doesn’t want to have dinner with them and think about things like how much he likes sitting down at their table, in that place between the right corner and Oikawa, how he doesn’t want anyone to take that spot from him in the future.

“Oh, it’s good,” Oikawa replies. “Come with me. I have a surprise for you in my room.”

Unlike Iwaizumi’s bedroom, Oikawa’s is neat and orderly, bags already packed and lined up near the door. Oikawa walks over to the nearly empty bookshelves, sits down on the floor, and then beckons Iwaizumi closer.

“What?” Iwaizumi asks.

He crouches down next to Oikawa. When he looks at the bottom shelf, his heart almost stops.

“An autumn caterpillar!” Oikawa announces. “Well, it’s currently in its cocoon. This is my graduation gift to you, my beloved Iwa-chan. I read that you’re supposed to keep them in a cool place and then they’ll emerge from their pupae in the spring. It’s almost time for this one to become a beautiful butterfly. I wanted to have at least three, but it was hard work, finding them and then setting up their habitats, so it’s just this one-”

Iwaizumi grips Oikawa’s head with both hands and kisses him on the mouth.

In hindsight, that wasn’t the best idea, because Oikawa’s teeth cuts into Iwaizumi’s bottom lip, but Iwaizumi wasn’t really thinking. It’s okay though, he’s bleeding only a little. Iwaizumi wipes the blood off with his hand.

Their second kiss is slower, Oikawa smiling against Iwaizumi’s mouth and running his fingers through Iwaizumi’s hair. Putting his tongue into Iwaizumi’s mouth. Iwaizumi keeps his hands pressed to the hardwood floor at first, not sure where to put them, but when Oikawa pulls him closer, Iwaizumi grasps the back of Oikawa’s shirt with both hands.

It’s not weird at all, kissing Oikawa. Or annoying. Or gross. Oikawa tastes like mint. He must have been preparing for this, that bastard. He must have known that Iwaizumi would respond this way. He must have wanted it, and Iwaizumi isn’t sure how to feel about that.

It might work out, Iwaizumi thinks. Maybe they can make it. He traces a finger down Oikawa’s jawline, down his neck, over the right collarbone and the tiny scar there, from the cut he got after he had jumped off a swing so that he could “fly.” Iwaizumi had jumped off too, after him, and the wonderful moment before he landed and scraped both his knees had been fun. They’ve both healed, more or less.

“Why are you thinking so hard, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa says, kissing Iwaizumi on the cheek. He slides a warm hand under Iwaizumi’s sweater. “You’ll strain your brain cells. The few that you have left anyway.”

“That can’t happen,” Iwaizumi says, while his brain cells wonder whether it’s a good idea to fuck Oikawa right here on the floor or wait until they get to Tokyo.

The sound of the house telephone makes up his mind for him. He slides off Oikawa, adjusts his pants. Oikawa is licking his lips with a contemplative look in his eyes.

Iwaizumi glances again the bookshelf, at the small aquarium where Oikawa has painstakingly made a habitat for the caterpillar. It must have taken him a long time. He’s had it here all this time and not breathed a word about it. 

Iwaizumi asks, “What’s its name?” 

Oikawa smiles at him. “Hajime.”

Iwaizumi is not sure who he feels more embarrassed for, Oikawa or himself. “Why are you such an annoying asshole,” he says. He pulls Oikawa in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
